Falling for Chris Martin <3333
Though I hate to write whiny posts, but I can't help it! I feel like depression is creeping
into me, again. Yeah, again!. I have been depressed for like two years or something, and
it was deadly serious, it wasn't like oh-i'm-so-sad depressed.
I hated my family and myself. I had nervous break-downs. I couldn't sleep well back then,
I had nightmares, horrible nightmares, I sweat a lot in my sleep.
And one thing leads to another, until I ended up in the psychiatric office!!
I hated him, but I loved the pills he gave me :p
Anyway, I had enough of all of this shit, so I decided to get myself better, by myself!
I left everything that had a negative effect on me and moved on forward. That's what I'm
doing right now, but sometimes I get scared or feel empty .. I don't know if you understand
how this empty feeling feels like. It's horrible, it feels like it's eating you inside out!!
That's what irritating me these days, I'm trying to do stuff just to get it off my mind.
- I'm rereading Twilight + finishing Robinson Crusoe for the fiction class :(
- Having crush on Chris Martin from coldplay lol.
- Scheduling a studying plan for this short holiday.
- Working on a lot, especially walking and set ups.
- Downloading albums, shows and movies.
- Searching for anything that interests me and read it online.
- Just trying to be good!
*Sighs*
into me, again. Yeah, again!. I have been depressed for like two years or something, and
it was deadly serious, it wasn't like oh-i'm-so-sad depressed.
I hated my family and myself. I had nervous break-downs. I couldn't sleep well back then,
I had nightmares, horrible nightmares, I sweat a lot in my sleep.
And one thing leads to another, until I ended up in the psychiatric office!!
I hated him, but I loved the pills he gave me :p
Anyway, I had enough of all of this shit, so I decided to get myself better, by myself!
I left everything that had a negative effect on me and moved on forward. That's what I'm
doing right now, but sometimes I get scared or feel empty .. I don't know if you understand
how this empty feeling feels like. It's horrible, it feels like it's eating you inside out!!
That's what irritating me these days, I'm trying to do stuff just to get it off my mind.
- I'm rereading Twilight + finishing Robinson Crusoe for the fiction class :(
- Having crush on Chris Martin from coldplay lol.
- Scheduling a studying plan for this short holiday.
- Working on a lot, especially walking and set ups.
- Downloading albums, shows and movies.
- Searching for anything that interests me and read it online.
- Just trying to be good!
*Sighs*
*sigh*emptiness the worst feeling ever but I think those things that u'll do will make ur days busy & u'll feel better enshallh :D& t8rebn I'll do the same things that u'll do ,, except reading 6b3n ;p
ReplyDeleteglad that someone understands, it's been killing me for days ;'( lol you're falling for Chris too xD? and why don't you like reading? it's the best thing in the world!! if you want to escape your reality, reading is your way! ^^i hope that will change your mind about it ;p
ReplyDelete*hug*i'm not falling but I kinda like him :PI tried many times to read but wallah I could not.. those large books with zillions pages scared me :Pbut yesterday I ordered one of the post secret books XD I can't wait to read it I'm soo excited XD
ReplyDeleteI feel you'r pain, am the last one to give advice but I think finding a hobby is good, reading will take you places,movies, painting or whatever, an obsission is good, so get obsessed!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Raisa, get obsessed.. maybe it'll make you feel less empty :(Hope you feel better sweetie *hugs*
ReplyDeleteXX why starting with humongous books :s ? you should start with light entertaining books instead, and believe me you'll love it ! Post Secret, i'd love to have some of those books < 33 Raisa I know, and that's what i'm doing right now, but sometime this ugly feeling shakes up my heart, it's so irritating :/ Pinkish *hugs you back with teary eyes* i'm doing my best to get over it and i will enshalla
ReplyDelete