I'm just a lost soul..
Ever since I lost my inspiration in graphic design, I feel lost and confused. I always keep my eyes on the photoshop icon hoping that one day I'll click this icon and pour out all the mess in my head and make something out of it. But it never happened and it frustrating the hell out of me. Art has been a major part of me, it helped me grow mentally over the past years. Then, school happened and wearied my soul and disturbed my mind. It filled me with filth, hate and disrespect towards the whole world. Now, that I'm alone and have a plenty of free time, I can't figure out why I have lost the only thing that helps cope with everything in my life, why have I lost my outlet that kept me from strangling myself to death? I don't feel special as I used to feel. I feel I'm like the rest of them, the people who can't think and decide. The people who are apathetic towards life and art. I need my soul back, it hurts so much without it. I hate myself without it, I feel ugly and stupid and fat. I hate school for sucking my soul out of me and for beating me hard till I lost my mind.
Wiser words have never been spoken.
ReplyDeleteI feel you, I seriously do. I'm suffering from the same "block" if I may call it. I bought like 5 canvases coupla days ago, and I've been staring at them ever since.
Oh Gee, it actually made me feel a little bit better knowing that someone understands <3 Hope we get our mojo back xD
ReplyDeleteI. relate. again.
ReplyDeleteThe past two years in my lame excuse of a school, I lost all sorts of inspiration...graphic/poetry...mostly poetry though. Man, I used to be so good (not because of what people said) but because it made me feel good inside . Sometimes, I say to myself...'Maybe I wasn't that good enough in the first place', that's how bad this has gotten. I mean, 2 fucking years and not a single thing...it literally did drain out ever ounce of inspirational creativity I had left. I open an empty page, and nothing....before I had so many thoughts that I couldn't even put all of them...and now nothing? I can't even decide if I am disappointed or angry at myself, probably both.
:(
I agree with every word you wrote except of the part when you said that you might have been bad at it. I don't think that's the reason and school is not a lame excuse, it does suck out the inspiration out of you, I've been there! I don't know what else to say, our art has been a part of us and one day, it may fade but it never disappear. We'll just have to keep our eyes and heart open..
ReplyDeleteAmen sister, Amen! <33
ReplyDelete