Black Coffee & Mixed Berries.
No matter how I tried to give myself a break, things seem to manage to choke my brains out of sense. It's a Gemini thing, I say but deep inside, I'm starting to believe I'm just insane. How could possibly a person could endure two different and contradictory feelings. I feel that I'm a major failure and yet I know that I'm being to hard on myself and that I'm too far from failure. Although I'm spending my laziest days trying to relax and push negativities away, somehow, this little voice on the back my head echoes my disappointments. And reading The Bell Jar is not helping, not in a slightest bit, in escaping reality through Sylvia's words. On the contrary, it mirrors my situation so accurately it's scares me. People might say, that's good now that you can learn from it but how could I when my heart pounds so nervously every time I read it. I have never imagined I would say this, but this book is scaring me. I'm not satisfied with anything, I want to do everything and I don't know what I really want to do. I'm sure I'm not bipolar and I'm positive that I'm not depressed, not anymore. But everything seems so beautiful and simple in a minute and ugly and unbearable in another.
The Bell Jar, is one of the most acclaimed depictions of depression and its consequences. Sylvia had a history of depression herself.
ReplyDeleteIt's very well written and descriptive that, for a short time you actually start to feel you're going insane with Esther Greenwood!
Been there. Please don't kill yourself Nouf ):
Yeah, it's so hard to keep up with her because the book has such a powerful impact on the reader. Gosh! it's overwhelming I need to put it down once and a while or else I'll be sucked back into depression again! And you know how sensitive I am when it comes to this particular subject xD
ReplyDeleteI haven't read the book , but being positive and negative at the same time is kinda my thing , I'm not sure if that's exactly what you're feeling .. anyways I love how you titled this post :)
ReplyDeleteHaha thanks! I thought no one will get it xD
ReplyDeleteI don't know, we can't exactly know how do we feel, but yeah, probably the same. It's mainly the state of uncertainty; you don't know what you really feel and you can't decide which feeling you experience is true and which is the illusion!
The book is great, Sylvia Plath is great a9lan.. You should read her works!
Wonderful blog! I definitely love how it’s easy on my eyes and also the data are well written. I am wondering how I might be notified whenever a new post has been made. I have subscribed to your rss feed which need to do the trick! Have a nice day!
ReplyDeleteI'm really in love with this coffee shop.. but I wonder if you tried their chocolate crepe before.. if you had I bet you'll never try something else (L)
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